Often Life Goes Better When You S-T-O-P

Contrary to new media buzz, mindfulness is neither new nor hip. Nor is it merely a mental outlook or ten-dollar word for paying attention. And it’s certainly not a mobile app. Mindfulness is a practice. That means it’s not something you only do while in repose. Rather, it’s a way of living and being that you embody in your everyday life.

Mindfulness by the Numbers

There are countless mindfulness practices. Buddhist and Yogic sutras are replete with them, as are the Hindu scriptures. One of the most practical techniques is S-T-O-P. Whenever life feels chaotic, overwhelming or confusing, it’s time to S-T-O-P, because such feelings aren’t aspects of reality, they’re states of mind.

S-T-O-P is an acronym for four meditation techniques you do sequentially:

1. S

   ettle into stillness

2. T

   une in

3. O

   bserve and listen

4. P

   roceed with purpose

Let’s examine them one by one.

Settle into stillness

You start S-T-O-P by standing or sitting somewhere away from the hustle and bustle. If standing, place your feet hip-distance apart. Keep your spine, neck and head erect and let your arms and hands dangle loosely by your sides. Lower your eyeline 45°, so you’re gazing earthward about six feet in front of you. If you’re sitting, place your soles flat on the ground. Keep your spine erect, shoulders down, neck and face relaxed and palms on your thighs.

Relax the muscles throughout your body and sink your center of gravity down into your lower abdomen. Really let your weight settle. Your upper body should feel lighter, your legs and core more solid. Breathe slowly and deeply into your lower abdomen. Your heartrate and blood pressure will gradually slow to match your breath rate. Just be still.

Tune in

Now look inside. Start by sensing your physical body. Note any physical sensations such as heat, cold or tingling. Become aware of muscular tension or pressure. Tune into any pain—dull or sharp, general or local.

Next focus on what’s going on inside you emotionally. Where is each emotion physically centered? What’s its size and intensity? Is it moving or shifting—or does it seem static? What are its color and shape?

Finally, assess your current state of mind. Is it scattered or focused? Foggy or clear? Lethargic or awake? Quiet or chatty? No need to try to change anything. Just watch.

Observe and listen

Now, flip your inner awareness to awareness of your environment. What do you see around you? Become intimately interested, like an artist, in the play of light, shadow and color. Note which objects are still and which in motion. See what fills your near versus far visual fields and your peripheral vision. Take it all in.

Switch sensory gears. What do you hear—near and far? Pick up even the most subtle sounds, such as wind in leaves or distant birdsong. Distinguish between sounds in the background (white noise) and sounds in the foreground. Let your hearing become so acute that you could hear a fly entering the room.

Shift into what you sense in your skin. What’s going on with air currents, temperature and humidity? What’s the energetic vibe around you? What’s your spidey sense say about people and life nearby? Really get the feel of your space.

Proceed with purpose

Once you’ve calmed and attuned your body and mind, it’s time to transition back to the flow of life. Begin by assuming a single-pointed focus. Fix your mind on one thing, one action, the most important one before you right now. Give up multitasking; it doesn’t get anything done faster or better.

Focusing on one thing at a time is the ultimate antidote to anxious, overwhelmed or out-of-control feelings—and the crux of mindful living. Your life comes down to linking one solitary action to the next, like stringing precious pearls. The quality of your life reflects the quality of your concentration. Throw your whole being into what you’re doing right now. Even if you’re doing the dishes or mopping the floor, when you do it mindfully, it feels fun. Mindful living is the key to fulfilment, not how many things you check off your list or how fancy your experiences are.

You Can S-T-O-P Anytime, Anywhere

S-T-O-P is fully portable. You can S-T-O-P in an airport. While waiting for your flight, take a seat and close your eyes. No one will even know you’re meditating. You can S-T-O-P in an office. Just close your door during your break or find a quiet spot. It’s a great way to reset your workday with renewed focus and purpose. You can even S-T-O-P in a living room, provided your family or roommates cooperate.

The freeway is among the few places you don’t want to S-T-O-P. It’s no place to unplug. You can, however, practice FLOW when driving, which we’ll discuss in a later post.

S-T-O-P in the Name of Love

S-T-O-P is an equal-opportunity intervention. You can start S-T-O-P at any moment. It works as well when you get up in the morning as it does before you go to bed. S-T-O-P also works over a variety of timespans. Try a 5-to-10-minute S-T-O-P during an office break. It’s a great way to offload mental and emotional residue.

Take a 20-to-30-minute S-T-O-P when you get home from work or shopping. There’s no more effective way to transition from busy-ness to a chill state. And even though S-T-O-P is a solitary practice, it paradoxically opens you up to be more tolerant, sociable and loving afterward. People have even been known to S-T-O-P for hours—or whole days. What better way to retreat, relax and restore?

The Inner Game of S-T-O-P

The truth is, we sentient human beings create most of our confusion, chaos and suffering internally. The good news is, if we can create it, we can also choose to cease doing so. All things considered, life goes smoother when you S-T-O-P now and then. It’s a gift of self-care and self-compassion that always gives back far more than it takes.